Any guesses
Saw this on a wall. No clue what it means.
Kind of makes me wonder about the messages I leave scrawled about. What do people think I mean, think I represent, think about the meaning I’m trying to convey? What meaning are they hearing anyways.
Communication is more than just images, letters, or sounds. Its sharing definitions and ideas. A shared language.
The apostle Paul suggested that people who believe in the hope of Jesus are like an aroma of life to the world around them. They convey (or should) some meaning and message that gives fullness, richness, completeness to the culture, people, and world around them.
So, what am I saying to the time/place around me? Am I smelling of life, or am I just writting letters on walls that mean something to me, but don’t connect to anyone else?
Are you?
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
When did I get all adult?!?
I have spent today working.
I didn’t have to punch in anywhere, didn’t have a boss, and didn’t even have to shower (although I did!). Today I was working from home. I was working for my business.
That is wired for me to say. I have a business.
100000words is (as of this weekend) a business in the state of Oregon.
Holy crap! I have a career!
I’m still kickin’ it at JazzKats Coffee Bar and the Rhinelander (gots to pay them bills), but those are my day jobs. I am a professional photographer and designer.
Never really thought I would be able to say that.
After high-school, I didn’t take the ‘American path to adult hood’- work yourself through school so that you can finally have a decent job and finally make some cash. That course just wasn’t for me. I have too much artist in these bones.
For a long time, I didn’t really know what I wanted to do with my life. I figured that I would I would just find an ok job and work to pay the bills while I tried to serve a church somewhere and maybe be a writer. Not a bad idea, but really nebulous and direction less at its core.
After Sarah and I moved to Portland, she bought me a camera (my Nikon d40- freakn’ love this thing!). I started taking pictures, and found it to be a real joy. I mean, I never got sick of taking pictures… I still don’t.
Then, an idea got into my head: why couldn’t I do this for a living? People say I have a good eye (check out my flickr stream and judge for your self), and even though I have a lot to learn I seem to be pretty good at it. Long story short, I got hooked up with KJB Design Photography doing weddings, and thus a career was birthed, surprisingly painlessly.
In the process, I also discovered that this eye is good for design. So, I started designing business cards, fliers, web elements… pretty much anything I needed. I have gotten chances to design things for others, and they have liked my product. Sweet!
Example 1: this is a post card image I was doing today for First Methodist in AK:
Seriously, this thing has been so much fun to make!
So, not only do I have a career, but it’s something I enjoy doing!
Being married and getting pregnant has done something to me. It has filled me out, completing me in ways I never thought would happen.
All that time I spent in my early twenties sort of floating about, dreaming of an artsy job to support my ‘some day’ family… that was my heart reaching out saying “This is what I was made to do. This is part of who I am!” Only, I never really knew it.
But now, I have a wife and a coming child (oh… and two cats, can’t forget them) to take care of, not just support. This has fulfilled me, given me direction and clarity, and made me realize (largely thanks to Sarah’s belief in me and her constant affirmation) that I can do what I have dreamed about. I am able to do this, and to do it well! …even if,(for now) I have to work elsewhere to get all the bills covered. I will always do whatever it takes to make sure that our bills are paid and food is on the table. But, sometimes that’s not enough.
I’m not saying I want a huge ass house and three cars or any of that shit. I do want my family to thrive though. They cant thrive if I’m not happy, because I’ll be draining away their joy. Or worse, I’ll just be absent. So I will take care of them, I will be around, not working late to squeeze out some extra money. I will (someday) be able to be home with my wife and kids. They will see me work, know that when I have appointments I will be home later and we will play, and I will be present in their lives just as they will be present in mine. They will see that I freaking love my work, that I work hard at it, and I hope it will inspire them to follow their passions.
And they will see me serve.
One reason I love the idea that is slowly coming to reality of working for myself as a free lance photographer/designer is that I will have time to serve other people. I will have time to be more and more a part of the Evergreen Community. I will have time to take friends out to lunch, for coffee, have people over for breakfast. I will have time to be involved in peoples lives.
And I’ll have a kick ass job career that I love.
For now, our bills are getting paid (sometimes barley, but it’s enough), I do get to have lots of time with Sarah (my beautiful wife), and I get to start a kick ass career making images that dont suck and taking awesome pictures.
That rocks.
Scattered days and refreshed feet
Today I feel scattered.
Its one of those days when ideas seem distant, out there in the fog and I am unable to get more than just a glimpse.
Days like this, I feel clumsy and far from life. I feel far from God.
I used to gauge the health of my relationship with Jesus based on how I felt, my emotional state and my ability to dwell on thoughts of him. Day to day, I fluxuate, in part due to my bipolar condition, and in part because I am human. We are all easily tossed by life and effected by our sleep, health, what we eat and drink, and the environment around us. While these things can (and do) effect the quality of the way we walk with Jesus, they do not determine the overall health of the relationship.
Sometimes we just have off days.
During the last supper, Jesus took time to wash the feet of those he was with. It was a servants task that he took upon himself.
Peter had a freak out about it, saying ‘Lord, I won’t let you demean your self like this!’ Jesus responds, ‘Unless you let me do this, your not one of mine.’ So, peter goes for the gusto, ‘In that case, don’t stop at my feet. Here in my head and body too!’
Jesus’ response has been on my mind today, ‘Someone who has already taken a bath only needs there feet washed.’
I hear Jesus telling me to let him was my feet. To let him get rid of the shit and dust that clings to me as I walk around in this broken world. Hear him asking me let him center me on himself. Something that I need (but don’t think I can do right now).
Its not just the pridefull times in our lives that we need to be washed of, times when we willfully follow our own desires instead of trying to live like Jesus. Its the everyday build up of grime and weariness, the clinging stuff from our jobs, our family, friends, our self. Things that we can’t quite shake. The tragedy we head in the news, the way that person treated me, the in effectiveness of our selves in our world. Its our failure to be a good husband, father, friend, the weariness of not enough sleep, days that are too hot or too cold. It is life that we need to let Jesus wash us of so that we don’t get tangled up, strangled by a broken life and a weary world.
We need to be renewed so that we can be a source of life and light to this place we find our self, our friends, family, jobs, our community.
And Jesus is the renewer of life, the cleaner of feet.
So, when I have days like this, days of scattered mind and heart, days when its hard to believe because I am apathetic, days like today… its these days I need to remember I am made right with God because of Jesus, and I am kept fresh in this relationship ( and thus in the world) by this same Jesus: the suffering servant, the giver of life.
Father, Husband, Theological Dreamer, Web Designer, Photographer, Coffee Chugger... It's kind of like listening to a cross between guerrilla radio and a street corner prophet with a bad case of tourettes.
