Why do I blog: a list
I am having a hard time remembering why I blog. My voice feels so… empty isn’t the right word, but it’s close. It’s not even that I’m wondering why I write. I write because I like writing. I like ideas, and I think words, stories, and ideas matter to humans when other humans speak/write them. I’m feeling meaningless in my voice. I write about mostly theological stuff. I write about my own fears and failings and how they relate to my believing Jesus. But why do I write about it? The last thing I want to be is another stream of Jesus information and/or Christian self-help fluffy statements that sound cool but mean dick. So why do I blog, why do I think my voice matters about theology and spirituality? Here is a list:
I am angry. I’m pissed off that the church has become something that hurts so many. I’m pissed that the church has “theology” that amounts to superstition and folk legend. I’m angry that after growing up in church circles I still had a weak/distorted understanding about what the Bible says is the good news for humanity. I’m pissed that we spend so much time and energy talking about being a leader, dreaming big for God, becoming a better person, doing social good, but almost zero time talking about Jesus. Do you wonder why Christians are painted by the media as close minded, backward thinking, self righteous assholes? It’s because we ourselves don’t get the gospel. We aren’t willing to wrestle with the implications of a God who loves us so much he himself sacrificed his own life so that we could be forgiven of the way we hurt others, the world, and ourselves… a God who loves us so much he reconciled us to himself by getting up from the dead and offering us real, everlasting life… a God who loves us so much he is actively putting right all the wrong our brokenness has caused, and transforming us into the kind of human beings who can and do his kind of work. I am angry that we have traded this rich hope for a pop-theology of self help, egocentric, money hungry, bullshit.
I believe there is a better way. Things may be bad (over all), but it doesn’t mean things have to stay this way. I want to be part of the change. All that stuff that I’m pissed off about, I want to see it reformed, refined, and redeemed. I don’t want my son to hit his mid 20′s and feel lied to and betrayed by the church he grew up around. I want him to ask questions, find truth, and be a part of a Jesus community that is imperfect but striving to believe and be human. I want to give the next generation a better starting point. I want to pass a good faith on to them… and taste it my self. I don’t know what the better way completely looks like, so I process with these posts. I think that good conversation, good ideas, a good vocabulary and words can go a long way in helping us imagine what a better way can look like in our every day lives. I think that the best way we can pass on a better foundation to other people is to ask better questions now. Help our thoughts and feelings about faith have a better frame-work in which to grow.
I hope. I hope that my words will ring true with other people who feel as I do. I hope other people might find a good challenge to the status quo of church culture. I hope people might get shaken up, rethink and re-see our faith, re-see Jesus. I hope I can make more sense out of the feelings and thought I have. I hope I can find my “tribe” and maybe find a bit more home in the body of Christ. I hope Jesus can use my words in his mission of the redemption and transformation of human beings. I hope I can begin to believe Jesus better. I hope I can contribute to art, beauty, good words, good thoughts, and good times. I hope my voice matters because I feel the need to write about this stuff, to speak out and share what I see, think, and feel.
Days like today I may doubt my self, question why I blog, question if my voice matters. Days like today come and go. Either way, I need to remember: I have reasons for writing, for trying to say what I try to say. Even if I’m just writing for my self, I have reasons that matter.
What about you? Why do you blog? Why does your voice matter?
Christ in you, the hope of glory
I wonder what people see when they meet me. What are the first impressions that turn out true? What surprises people? What do they leave thinking and assuming about my personal, my life?
Earlier this week, my family had a couple of people stay a few nights with us. I would like to think that these people have become some new friends. They were nice, gracious guests… and I find my self so insecure about what they left thinking about me. It’s really a baseless insecurity, but it’s there.
At work, I just got moved to a new team with a new supervisor. So what do people think of this new guy? Is my supervisor looking forward to having me, or am I an expected burden? Again, all groundless insecurities but still there they are.
My overall desire is that people will end up glad they met me. If I’m honest, I do have good things to offer… but that’s not what I want people to be glad about. I would really like to be respected and someone people want to work with… but that’s not why I want people to be around me. Don’t get me wrong, I want people to like being around me because they think I’m great, full of great ideas and awesome things to offer others. Heck, if I’m honest (again) I can see that I’m a prideful ass in most of my grabs at attention. “Look at my and how great I am… VALIDATE ME!” Even though this arrogant pride is there, at my core I want people to think well of me for another reason.
As church cliché as it sounds, I want people to see Jesus in me. At the very least, I want them to see someone who longs for Jesus because I know that without him I really am full of bullshit and amount to nothing. I don’t want people to feel evangelized to after meeting me. I don’t want people to feel bludgeoned over the head with Church. I don’t want people to feel weird because I’m obsessed with Jesus. I want people to intersect with me and leave thinking more about Jesus, questioning more, wanting to be like Jesus because they met someone who wants to be like Jesus. I don’t want to be a Jesus douche, but I do want to be a witness with my being… a witness to the hope of humanity… a witness to love.
So, I think about my new friends, about my new team at work, about the people I share life with, my old friends, the people I don’t talk to enough, the people in our church community… I wonder what they think about me. Do they think about Jesus because of me?
Salvation as rest: pt 2 or Finished doesn’t mean done, it means nothing more
In the beginning, the earth was formless and void. The Spirit of Yahweh brooded over the waters of chaos. With a voice like thunder, Yahweh spoke into the formless, into the empty, into the chaos.
“Let there be… ”
With poetry, song, and free style, Yahweh set the dance of life in motion, first building then filling the dance hall with all the dancers, decorations, and drop beats of his imagination. Into the formless and void, the brooding God gave shape and definition to what we call created reality. The final piece of creation was the glorious crown of humanity. God came near, got his hands dirty. Instead of speech, he breathed. The breath of God rushed into a muddy husk and humanity became a living soul. Then God took his seal, his very image, placed it over creation, and called the whole thing very good.
Evening and morning came; six days of creating were done. On the seventh day, God declared Sabbath. The act of creation was complete, it was as good as it could get. Adding anything else would just be ornate and bothersome. Everything was as it should be. It was finished. So, God rested from all the work he had done. The seventh day was blessed and made holy because on it God was finished and he declared everything very good; perfection.
This seventh day rest, this Sabbath gives us our base line for defining rest. God finished his work of creating an ordered, rhythmic, dance of life, and he rested letting the dance run it’s course. He sat back and enjoyed the work of his hand. He delighted in the growing grass, the swimming whales, the flocking birds… he was pleased at how very good everything was. Yahweh did not passively watch creation; this wasn’t his snow globe on a shelf. He chose to engage with creation: planting a garden for humanity to enjoy, establishing human community and companionship, walking with man and woman in the best part of the day. In the Sabbath, the rest after finishing the action of creation, God remained active, engaged, and fully present to his new creation.
Even though the creation even was complete and very good, Yahweh also entrusted humanity with work. If we are to correctly bare his image, be his stamp on creation, to be like him, we have a purpose to our existence. Rest doesn’t mean we lounge about in pj’s and eat fruit from low hanging branches. Resting in the Sabbath of God means we enjoy created reality as it should be, including doing the work entrusted to us.
Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and shepard over it; have authority over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the heavens, and over every living thing that moves on the earth… Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food.
Genesis 1.28-29
Sabbath; when we rightly express the image of God that we are created to be we find our place in the rest of God.
How do you find rest in doing what you are created, called, and entrusted to do?
Father, Husband, Theological Dreamer, Web Designer, Photographer, Coffee Chugger... It's kind of like listening to a cross between guerrilla radio and a street corner prophet with a bad case of tourettes.
