Suicidal Ideation

Trigger warning: I’m going to be talking about suicidal thoughts in this post. Please proceed with caution if this is something you (like me) live with. I’ve never tried to kill myself. I came close once. The only thing that prevented me from going through with it was the inability to find my dad’s gun […]

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Why do I Write About Mental Illness?

Depression is creeping up on me again. This is more than a case of the Mondays, more than just a blue day. This is the apathy, the slowness of thought and movement, the lies that replay themselves in my head over and over. This is the black dog of depression slowly sinking its teeth into […]

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A Pastor is Not a Therapist

I have all sorts of issues. I have problems that I need help working through. Life gets confusing for me, anxiety and depression dog my days, and I have some self-worth issues that I can’t overcome on my own. I need help navigating towards healing and wholeness, towards an integrated, healthy life. I’m a mess, […]

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I Don’t Want to Take My Medicine

Sometimes, I don’t want to take my medicine. Day in and day out, I take my pills. Five pills in the morning and one at night to help me manage my bipolar and anxiety disorders. It’s a routine I have had for years. The medications have changed, developed, and settled into their current concoction, but […]

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What’s it like to live with bipolar?

Today I am speaking at an event called Shattering Stigma. It’s a collection of personal stories about people living with mental illness. Below is the core of my brief talk. /// Everyone wants to know what bipolar feels like. It’s hard to put into words because there are two different experiences. I’ll do my best […]

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