Regret and Self Forgiveness

Regret is a bastard. The way it clings us to the past, making us recite our flaws, our mistakes, our failures over and over. Regret replays our worst moments like a gif, looping again and again in our mind’s eye. Regret convinces us that if only we had done it differently, said something else, been a […]

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Making Up Adulthood

I am 13. At least, that’s what it feels like in my chest. I perceive myself to be this scrawny, pubescent teenager with big glasses and bad hair. Everyone else in the room is an adult. I’m the only one faking. I’m the imposter. I’m pretending to be an adult, dressed up in my parent’s […]

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My Ideal Body

I don’t like my body. You think I would. I mean, I’m almost 36. Aren’t people my age supposed to have this body image thing down? Instead, All I notice when I look in the mirror is my gut and my untoned muscle mass. That and all the parts that jiggle. I don’t like what […]

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A Pastor is Not a Therapist

I have all sorts of issues. I have problems that I need help working through. Life gets confusing for me, anxiety and depression dog my days, and I have some self-worth issues that I can’t overcome on my own. I need help navigating towards healing and wholeness, towards an integrated, healthy life. I’m a mess, […]

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I Don’t Want to Take My Medicine

Sometimes, I don’t want to take my medicine. Day in and day out, I take my pills. Five pills in the morning and one at night to help me manage my bipolar and anxiety disorders. It’s a routine I have had for years. The medications have changed, developed, and settled into their current concoction, but […]

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