I just don’t get Americian church any more. We have 40 minuets of cover songs the band rocks out to followed by 40 minuets of seminar type talk telling us how good our life can be if we just follow the formula of scripture.

Where is Jesus in all this?

About two years ago, I started asking the question “what is gospel?”. Ever since then, my beliefs and faith have been turned inside out and right side up. I see the Bible telling me, telling us that the only good news is Jesus. Not doctrine, not morality, not even sanctification. Its Jesus.

So, this earthshaking revelation leads me to rethink the nature of salvation. Blair was asking these same questions, and both of us landed head first on a truth that evangelicals don’t talk about: the hope of salvation. 1 Peter tells us to place all our hope on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

Did you catch that: the grace that Jesus is going to bring us when he comes again!

Ok, so church never talked about this. I am now believing that Jesus gives me hope because he has reconciled Himself to me, and is teaching me to learn to unlearn my sin habits and learn to love Him with all that I got and other people as I invite them to become part of the people of God.

Church has lost its meaning to me, but the community of God, the people that are pinning all of their hope on Christ as they try and tell people of the hope they have (that He’s coming to set it all right) both by words but mostly by their lives that are broken and marred but full to over flowing with resurrection life that spills out to the other addicts we learn to love.

That is the vision I have of the people of God. Screw church, I want to be part of that holy rabble.

And it’s all because Jesus is offering, to all who will come, to put us into right relationship with the holy trinity so that we can receive the fullness of Yahweh’s favor (grace) when he breaks through with the realness of His reality and Shalom.

That’s where my thoughts have been circling lately, even as I find sin habits in my life so hard to break. In honesty, I probably wouldn’t be allowed to preach in any churches because of things that are not clean and spotless in my life. That and I like to swear… it’s just so satisfying. So, I’m not ok for church… but I am ok for Jesus to give hope to… hope that someday I won’t lose these battles any more… someday I will bow at his feet and be clean, wholly clean, holy clean…

Still, I feel the condemnation from church, even though I haven’t been part of one for months. I don’t know, maybe its all in my head. But I still don’t desire a church. I desire a community. And they are out there. Allot of people our age, older and younger are getting this idea and community’s of faith are springing up. There is one up in Portland that I am looking forward to being a part of. These are the kind of people that care about missions as part of their proclamation of the hope of salvation. And they themselves are the missionaries that are being sent by God. I like that. It feels allot more Biblical than sending people to other heathen lands.

Anyways, I have allot to say about this stuff. It’s why I started blogging. I need to get back in the rhythm of doing that…

Ill let you go before I just cant stop this word vomit.