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Death by Death

He didn’t look like himself. I guess no one really does hooked up to medical machines keeping the body and brain alive. Here was my Papa in the final hours of his life though. He went into surgery for some heart issues and never came back to us. I got...

Giving Up Church for Lent

I gave up church for Lent. It wasn't intentional. It was a complete accident. But the last Sunday in Lent (Palm Sunday) has come and gone, and my place in the pews remains empty. I’ve only been attending since mid-advent in December, but already I feel a place in this...

Lifted Up in the Darkness

Jesus once said, “Just like Moses lifted up a snake in the wild so the people afflicted by a curse could be healed, so must the Son of Man be lifted up so that all may come and live.” Or something like that. Jesus talked a lot about his death,...

When Suicide

Trigger warning: I’m going to be talking about suicide in this essay. Proceed with as much caution as you need to. I still miss Mikey. It was 11th grade. The day we got the news we just drove around listing to “Brick” from Ben Folds Five. I remember that distinctly....

The Unknown God

Unknown steps Divinity is unknown. The divine may be experienced in mystical ways, but it is an experience of the divine, not an experience with the divine. And that with is what I crave. I know god in some cognitive and emotional ways, but it’s still an ethereal knowledge, not...