I didn’t mean to. It wasn’t on purpose. I didn’t set out to lie. Intentions don’t really matter here. What matters is that in the end, I didn’t tell the truth.
Lies don’t happen without affecting other people, and this lie ended up hurting someone who matters to me. I hate hurting people. But I do. I don’t think before I act, or I fail to act, or I say something that’s not true… I end up hurting people in a lot of ways. I think we all do at one time or another.
Back to my lie, I don’t want to cover it up or obfuscate it. I want to be honest about it, to try to rectify it, to make sure that the truth gets out.
I called myself a single dad.
This might not sound like a big deal, but it is. In naming myself this way, I effectively erased the other party in my kid’s parenting. I, in effect, said that their mom is out of the picture. And she isn’t by a long shot. I’m not a single dad because even though we are separated and heading for divorce, we are still co-parents.
Co-parenting is tricky at times, especially when you live in two separate homes. It’s not an easy thing to do. Sometimes I do feel alone, but it’s just a feeling not the reality. The reality is that I have an incredible person helping me raise my boys. I don’t ever want to erase that person from my life or from the life of my boys.
So, I am sorry.
I’m sorry I lied. Again, it was unintentional, but it was still a lie. I’m not a single dad. I’m not raising these kids all by myself. I’m not alone. I have a great co-parent.