I tend to talk around my dreams. I speak hints and allusions to the desires buried deep in my DNA, but it’s not often I am brave enough to call my dreams by name, give them definition, tell them to other people.
I guess I fear finding my dreams are laughable. Or worse, I fear naming them and then failing to see them become real. Sometimes, I simply think they are too far-fetched to be believable.
Earlier in life, I learned that dreams are good, but you have to ground them in realistic boundaries otherwise they are fancy things to chase and never find. I can see the sense in this ad ice, but it has ruined my ability to verbalize what I actually desire and dream for my life.
Let’s call the beast what it is: shame. I am ashamed of the things I dream in my heart.
I’m tired of being afraid and ashamed. Humanity was designed to be in the image of God; is God a being of shame and fear?
To be sure, I may find that I fail at every dream I speak and share, but I would rather risk and be brave than stay in complacent unrest with the way things are.
Bravery seems to be the theme of my song lately.
So to be brave, here is a list of dreams that haunt my bones and bleed through the cracks of my days. Here I name my deep desires:
- I want to make a living with words and creativity.
- I want to record a music album of my own songs.
- I want to publish multiple books.
- I want to travel the world staying places as a guest, not a tourist.
- I want to speak at Catalyst, and give the kind of talk that never gets me invited back.
- I want to preach to and help teach a congregation I am proud to call my Jesus community.
- I want to grow old well, and mentor younger people in the art of living well.
- I want to own a coffee shop.
- I want to build a suburban community chapel.
- I want to help others learn how to help others grow in faith.
- I want a house on the Oregon coast.
- I want to find the perfect bag.
- I want to pass on my passions to my son, and watch as he re-shapes them into his own life.
These the dreams that scare the crap out of me to speak aloud, let alone chase. These are the dreams that I fear people will laugh at. These are the dreams that I get ashamed of wanting so badly. These are some of the dreams I want to live out with my family. these are the dreams that I think will shape my life into the life I want to live. These are the dreams that I believe are one way of living out a better Christian faith in the every, ordinary days. These are the dreams that make me want to take a risk, to be brave.
Can you be brave? What are some of the dreams you fear to share?