Today, I’m at the Mudroom.

The Mudroom is a collaborative blog that is all about making space for people and their stories. It’s writers and guest posters consistently put out some good words, so it’s my pleasure and honor to be hosted there today.

I got to write about calling and share a bit of my story with feeling called to ministry at one point in my life.

I used to feel like I was called.

I was sure that the pulpit was my destination. I was called to the ministry. I had been told that since I was a child. I was to be a pastor, a preacher, a minister. I felt this calling in my bones, in my spirit, deep in my heart. I just knew I was called.

In my early 20’s, I spent a few years in a church internship, working with the youth group and the young adults. During this time, I was certain of my calling. I devoted myself to Bible studies, worship services, and discipleship programs. I was trying to fan into flame the gift given to me, just like Paul urged Timothy to.

I don’t feel that calling any more. I don’t feel the fire in my bones about a pastoral position. Maybe I’ve just been too hurt over the years. Maybe I have simply given up on something that was important to me. Maybe I was never called in the first place. Whatever the reason is, here I am at 35 and I’m not a pastor. I didn’t go to Bible school and I’ve only attended a smattering of seminary classes. Not that schooling makes one a minister, but it is the traditional path. Traditional or not, it looks like I was wrong about being called.

Read the rest over at the Mudroom. While your there, be sure to poke around the blog and read some more of the excellent words there.